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May. 26th, 2009

So since yesterday I have been remenising about my childhood. Last night there was a familliar scent in my apt that I havent smelled since I was 15. It was a scent that I would smell when I came home from the fresh air fund friendly town camp after two weeks being spent upstate. It is a scent of being back home with my mother. I miss her alot. Its been about 4 years but I still miss her like crazy. i wish I could get her back.

Also Just now I remembered somthing that I hadnt thought of in a very long time. I remmber my mother and I eating breakfast in a diner by my apt. And us talking about death and what happens after. I was about 8 or 9 years old. I believed in reincarnation. We were talking about what my grandma and grandpa could have turned into. As we were talking to eachother there was a fly on the mirror on the wall next to our booth. I looked up and thought hey that could be my grandpa, I usually shoo insects away but this time i didnt. Then I started to talk about how great it must be to turn into somthing else and be in this world. What I mostly remember is that my mom answered all my questions. She seemed to know everything. She is my inspiration to be a single mom. My mom was sick my entire life and yet despite her sickness she managed to take care of me and show me the fun things in life. She would take me to the park and to coney island and I was able to go on rides. When she took me to the park she told me that If i wanted to earn some money for when we go to coney island I could open up a lemonade stand. In one day I made 20 dollars and to me back then seemed like alot.

Then I remember one day in the 5th grade my class was supposed to see jumanji in the theater if everyone did their book report. I did not I hated reading. I scrapped it up in a hurry and everyone knew it was half assed. My teacher made me stay in the office untill the end of the day. So I got punnished twice. I didnt get to see the movie and I didnt learn anything either. So that day it was after school and my mother always told me to meet her at the doctors clinic downt he block from my apt.

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